Im not really sure what I want to say in this post. All I know is that soon, September 17th will be the one year anniversary of my sister's passing. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. Not one day goes by that I don't think of Carol. I think of the many times we've spent together. Good times and times of grief. Memories of being a baby and being held in her arms, being a child and her taking me to Disney movies and teaching me nursery rhymes, living with her for brief periods, spending every Christmas with her and her family, being a teenager and visiting her each summer. As we aged we still would visit and get together for Christmas until she moved to California in 2004. Then we would talk on the phone,not as often as we should have though. I was always busy.
We had a blast when I helped her drive to California to live with her daughter, Colleen and her family. Along the way we stopped in every state and took pictures. We met a group of elderly ladies in Greenup, Illinois that were quilting, Indians selling handmade jewelry in New Mexico, a 99 year old man riding a Harley in Indiana. In St.Louis we stopped 2 days to meet my neice Colleen & her husband Scott to attend a walk for their baby Chase that had passed away. Passing through Oklahoma we visited a friend of mine,in Arizona we stopped to see the beautiful landscape, the red mountains were so breathtaking. As Carol & I drove up into the mountains nightfall crept in and she asked me to drive. I had never been on a mountain road as narrow, winding and steep in my life! Signs alerting drivers to beware of mountain lions, bear, moose etc. were catching my eye ! There were no guardrails and signs that cautioned to the long drop that would occur if you veered too close ! When we got to the Hoover Dam I was so shakey that I asked her to take over. We stopped to look at the Dam , which I wanted to do from the car! Carol encouraged me to get out and look over the dam and wasn't moving till I did. I quickly jumped out of the car , peered towards the dam and hopped back in! Carol thought this was hillarious! Carol started laughing and her laugh was so funny, it would sound like she was crying instead of laughing when she found something hysterical. I miss that laugh.
We had a blast when I helped her drive to California to live with her daughter, Colleen and her family. Along the way we stopped in every state and took pictures. We met a group of elderly ladies in Greenup, Illinois that were quilting, Indians selling handmade jewelry in New Mexico, a 99 year old man riding a Harley in Indiana. In St.Louis we stopped 2 days to meet my neice Colleen & her husband Scott to attend a walk for their baby Chase that had passed away. Passing through Oklahoma we visited a friend of mine,in Arizona we stopped to see the beautiful landscape, the red mountains were so breathtaking. As Carol & I drove up into the mountains nightfall crept in and she asked me to drive. I had never been on a mountain road as narrow, winding and steep in my life! Signs alerting drivers to beware of mountain lions, bear, moose etc. were catching my eye ! There were no guardrails and signs that cautioned to the long drop that would occur if you veered too close ! When we got to the Hoover Dam I was so shakey that I asked her to take over. We stopped to look at the Dam , which I wanted to do from the car! Carol encouraged me to get out and look over the dam and wasn't moving till I did. I quickly jumped out of the car , peered towards the dam and hopped back in! Carol thought this was hillarious! Carol started laughing and her laugh was so funny, it would sound like she was crying instead of laughing when she found something hysterical. I miss that laugh.
Las Vegas was next. We stayed with Carol's friend Sharyn while in Vegas. We went to Harrah's, The Bellagio, Caesar's Palace and dined at a restaurant in the Bellagio. It was a relaxing day. Earlier that day Carol had spotted an Elvis impersonator and was so excited thinking that I would be thrilled because it was Elvis. Not many people know this, even though I adore Elvis Presley I absolutely loathe Elvis impersonators. Carol beged me to have my picture taken with him and I did to make her smile. Boy did she chuckle when Sharyn and I posed with him! I'm glad I did that now. One day Sharyn drove us to the Red Rock Canyon to go Burro spotting. We spotted a few and then Carol and I got out to take pictures of ourselves. Carol posed on a rock kicking her legs up like a Rockette, she was s full of energy and life. I miss that energy.
We reached our final destination, Modesto, CA , Colleen & Scott's home the next day. While there we visited San Francisco and went to Pier 39. Carol wanted me to see the seals and Alcatraz. It is fun to think of her excitement that day. I miss that excitement.
It's difficult when you loose one so dear to your heart. Almost once everyday Emma mentions Carol. Emma asks when she can see Aunt Carol again and each time I explain that Aunt Carol is in heaven now. Just yesterday Emma asked to use my cell phone to call Aunt Carol in heaven and I said no honey you can't call her. Emma replied "Why? Don't they have phones in heaven?"Carol made an impact on so many lives during her time here on earth. I miss that impact.
I miss her warmth, her love, her hugs & kisses, all of her. I miss my sister. I will end with a saying from Kahlil Gibran that I came across while Carol & I were traveling West.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight"- Kalil Gibran
